just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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