I'm eating all of the evidence.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
