Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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