On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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