That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
