he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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