the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
