1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
