Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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