i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
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You. Win. At. Life.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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