Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
