I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
