I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
