i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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