So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i now understand why vodka
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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