You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
