I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
