Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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