You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
