If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
