Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my shit smells like andre
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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