I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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