a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
