You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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