I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
