How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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