He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
