with your own penis?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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