I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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