Christians are straight up FREAKS
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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