I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
