I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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