yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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