Have you finally orgasmed yet?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
this is an emotional support booty call
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
