you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
