why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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