My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
