My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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