it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
