Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
