i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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