You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
