If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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