Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
