my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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