STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize