areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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