I hope mine doesn't look like that
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She told me I should be a condom model.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
