i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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