when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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