dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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