Where are you?
In a non slutty way
the condom got lost in my hair
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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