I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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