bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
